Born again


[stag_dropcap font_size=”50px” style=”normal”]T[/stag_dropcap]hese past 2 or 3 months, dealing with the possibility that I may have serious brain cancer, has seriously put life into perspective for me. This is me yesterday night getting baptized in the Spanish church I attend.

When facing death, one thing which tends to happen is all the un-important day to day stuff disappears. And what you’re left with is everything important. Solomon speaks to this in Eccelesiates. For me this means (1) family, and (2) also realizing that I’ve drifted far far away from my Christian beliefs. It also means I’ve literally killed myself by working too hard for too long. I’d rather just just be at my house, laying down reading and writing, spending time with the fam.

Now that I’m facing an unsure future and possibly death one thing strikes me as ironic – how could a proposed atheist sit on their deathbed and not internally feel the tugging of God’s calling? In other words, I think it is one thing for an Atheist to claim they are an atheist and quite a different thing for said Atheist to continue to proclaim this when facing death.

Similar arguments can be made against religious people as well: how can someone claim they are a Christian but live their life like they don’t believe in God?

No man can serve two masters: for either he. will hate the one, and love the other; or else. he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and money. Matthew 6:24

I’m not going to wax religious philosophy just yet, but what I want to briefly mention is this thought given to me by one of my best friends: There is a kernel of truth in religion and God. Yes various religions have different customs etc but there is a kernel of truth that unites them all. One being hope. Hope that your sins will be forgiven, hope that you can be healed by God’s hand, hope that God will take care of you and you needs etc.

I’ve been in church my entire life. Heck, I even went to a Christian University, where I had to go to chapel and bible class everyday. Needless to say I drank a lot and partied a lot. I got baptized when I was 13 years old. Not old enough to really think big thoughts, just something my parents wanted me to do. Contrast this to being 32,  able to think about things, determine what makes sense and what doesn’t. Yesterday I made the decision to get baptized again. I made my choice – I’m going to follow God to the last of my days as a result of looking at all the information and also being lucky enough to face death. If you haven’t faced death, then I don’t imagine you can get in my shoes. But when you do, and we all will, you will see what I’m talking about.

And yes I know, my blog posts have taken a turn for the moment, and I’m giving you more of an in-depth look at how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking, and so on.

So here’s the deal this week: I’ve got two of the best neurosurgeons in Texas operating on me this Thursday in Dallas. From there I’ll be recovering for about 5 days and then come back home to Amarillo. Then comes the waiting part – waiting for my skull to heal to begin treatment and waiting to see what it actually is that is inside my brain.

That’s it for now! Have a great week folks!



106 thoughts on “Born again

  1. This is really very nice James. I have been reading all your mails since i subscribed to your email and they have been amazing. Please don’t die.Stay strong, you have plenty things to give to the world. I will say a prayer for you tonight. Hang in there bro

  2. Blessings to you James! Good Read!
    I’ll be praying for a great turnout and a quick recovery.
    He’ll never leave you man. He’s always Right there with you.
    Continued prayers for you and you family!!!
    Jim Moore

  3. Hi James,

    I hope your surgery goes well. I’ll be rooting for you. I know this isn’t the best time, but I was wondering if I could get your advise on a business dilemma I’m currently having. I feel that I have a good opportunity to gain some momentum; my goal is to get a platform to stand on before growing my empire. I just launched a Kratom/Kava/Blue Lotus business and need to ramp up sales. Our quality is second to none, so it’s simply a question of getting the word out. I’m currently working on my FB page and have implemented the best SEO strategies. Any suggestions on how I can sell out my first batch of inventory quickly?

    All the Best,

    1. You need to get someone akin to a growth hacker or someone who combines many skills together such as good writer, funny, smart, seo, and an overall big picture of how the internet works. Heck this could be you – if not, I’d say look in to interviewing some people who specialize in this. Keep in mind – you’re only one viral video or post away from fame!

  4. Most of us partied hard in college, but when it gets down to REAL life, only God matters. John 3:16 sums it up well. God will give you the assurance you are saved, His ultimate will for every human ever born. Keep looking to God because He has all the answers.

  5. Hi James,
    I have been reading your posts from silent observation, a place where I occupy most of my time. To be brief, your story resonates with me through the information overload within the day to day of life. I am not one for social media nor keeping up with “non essentials” but cannot help but find my struggle in your words. Obviously a different flavor, but the feast is the same – an endeavor to understand the critical life you feel led to live. The ebbs and flows, ups and downs encapsulate our experience and within this observation, we become lost or at least feel lost and if you have a certain courage, one will ultimately seek to be found. All this goes to say- Thank You. Thank you for your time, energy and insight. It has inspired me to continue in pursuit of a certain type of freedom. More recently – as of this post- I am moved by your commitment to continue with your insight and energy at this particular frame of life. Death is the certainty all live with and I believe when faced with this void(as all are) life sings, whether in the moment or in hindsight. 1st kings 8 onword speaks of the dedication of the temple to the Lord and Solomon gives a powerful(to me at least) speech to the Israelites. I hope you find power if you read it. My wife and I will be praying for your health, family and direction. Thanks again.

    1. I wrote the verse down and will read it as soon as I’m finished with this message. I’m happy that my writing has touched you, that means so much to me. And I should be the one telling you thank you. Thanks for being a part of this and thank you for being part of my life!

  6. Hi James! Thank you for keeping us updated on your condition and thoughts. By the way, giving your life back to Christ is by far the best thing we can do! He not only knows exactly what you need, but will preserve your life and your family’s lives. Your journey is going to impact others, just watch!

    1. That is exactly my intent. When I first began writing I wanted to help people see the vast opportunities for becoming free. But now as I’m facing death, I see what really matters and what doesn’t. Money doesn’t matter – God, family, and relationships do. That’s why when I got baptized yesterday and told God that he lets me stick around Earth, I’m going to dedicate my life to sharing his word! Thanks for the comment Andrew!

  7. James I don’t know if you remember me man we went to church together in Lovington at third and central church of christ. We were a part of Rob Duncan’s youth group. Just want you to know I’m praying for you bud. Your a great person and awesome writer and I look forward to reading more of your stuff. You will get through this, you have the heart of a lion and the mind of a brilliant, generous person. Don’t stop fighting James, don’t ever quit! Praying all goes well with you in these upcoming days. Just know we will all be praying and HOPING you win this fight. God bless you brother!

    1. Andres, I do remember you! Long time no speak! Thank for you the prayers and well wishes. I hope to be back soon writing about it all, even if I have a bald, scarred up head!

  8. James, I am so glad you have cemented your relationship with God and I understand so well your situation having suffered a brain injury in a fatal head on collision last year with a drunk driver, however this is the good news that I must tell you; when I was delivering my first baby it was a very traumatic birth and I lost most of my blood and died in theatre, successfully resuscitated, obviously ! it was the most wonderful experience of my life, so that I now have no fear of death, the Lord allowed me more life to be with my little family that grew to another son and 52 foster sons, but still the best moment of my life has been my brief “death” so please don’t fear it , its a glorious wondrous experience where there’s no pain, no time as we understand it just a wondrous peace,however there’s much work for good men such as yourself to do here on earth and for the sake of all who love you and need you around may God bless you, keep you safe, return you to full health, I will pray you get your hearts desire, my brother in Christ, xx

  9. Death is an illusion, nothing dies, it is just a transition from one form to another. Every day we die in our sleep and born again when we wake up, so sleep is a small death which we experience every day. I don’t know why I am writing this but your post is so touching and I feel happy for you that you were able to experience death and able to write about it too. It is so touching. May you be happy and blissful. Thank you for your kindness to goodwill that was very helpful.
    Bless you…

  10. God is working through you and will do great things! Praying for you, your surgeons and your family!

  11. “Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion.” From the Holy Quran [Ch 3, Verse 185]
    A Wise man from Arabia Once said ‘”Be in the world as if you were a stranger or a traveler along the path.” “If you survive till late afternoon, do not expect to be alive in the morning. If you survive till morning, do not expect to be alive in the late afternoon. Take from your health before your sickness and your life before your death.”

  12. Hi James I have posted that on fbook cause I can relate to what your saying and hoping for positive feedback let’s see how it goes . My thoughts and best wishes are with you JAMES .

  13. Praying for you James! Your blog is so inspiring! Looking forward to continuing to follow your story and your victory, as usual!

  14. Praying for you and your family! Keep fighting and writing! You have a great outlook on life and it’s nice to follow your journey through your words. Take care James

  15. Hi James , scary place to be eh?… have many well wishers including myself.
    I , like many people have had some bad times , financial , emotional and physical , but as bad as it got , and it got REALLY bad I never actually faced death!!!……I can’t even PRETEND to know what that feels like.
    Through all my ‘past’ problems I had what I thought was a one way dialogue with the Lord. I was angry , very angry … I was a pitiful mess , but for me things did start to improve for the better.
    When I read your post James I realised I had nothing to complain about ….’death’ was NOT in the picture for me.
    By posting your life , at present , on the Internet i feel you may already have changed if not saved lives.
    James I’ve kinda lost my thread…..stay strong mate , you have made an impact on my life from the moment I read your post , I will pray for you as soon as I have finished this… must feel strange with the world carrying on as normal and you facing a life and death situation for REAL!!!….God sees and hears you James , you are closer to the Lord right now than ever. Amen.

  16. Hey James,
    Howdy? I guess it won’t help much to tell you how sorry I am about all this you’re going through my friend but I’ll tell you anyway since this is the custom and manner of mere mortals.
    I will also tell you that as a prodigal son, God is not disappointed at all by your returning back to Him.
    As a born-again, practising Christian myself for over 40 years let me also assure you that God is not actually interested in your death. Going by your own testimony, I think God is more interested in you alive than dead. This story is not unique to you. I’ve heard it so many times.
    Starting from the classic scripture in the bible (Luke 15:10-32), I’m a living testimony myself. I’ve stared death in the face. I know how it looks like. Today, no one can convince me there’s no God. Not the devil. Nada.
    Hang on my friend, this will pass like the noonday. God needs you alive. You’re young. You have so much information to give to the world. The only thing you need to understand is that God wants to change your story so that you can change your message to the world.

  17. James, everything is going to be ok. Trust and have faith. HE knows what to do, when and how. Things happen for a purpose. It’s not in our time, it’s in HIS time.

  18. I’ll put your name in the LDS temple in Utah. We need you to get past this roadblock and kick cancer’s lame butt.

    When you are well, I need your expert advice. Take care. We all love you, you are not alone on this journey.

  19. James, I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog over the past month or so. You’re an excellent writer! Just wanted to say you’re in my prayers and I’m hoping and praying for the best for you. Makes me happy that you have your priorities right. God and family are everything. Nothing else in the world really matters. Thank you for reminding us all of this. Stay strong! You’ve got a lot of people praying for you!

  20. James,
    Tonight was the first time I became aware of you and your work (searching u-tube at the gym for how to start a drone business), but realizing your current situation, I know it’s not an accident. I was saved at 19 and serving God has been an up and down journey (for the last 3 decades) however, it seems as though you may be in the process of receiving the biggest gift of your life. If you are into theology, a book I’m currently reading could be right up your alley: “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. I don’t know you, yet, but I will be praying that you and your family will have God’s peace throughout this process. ~Blessings

  21. WOW YOU are truly amazing – what inspirational way to be introduced to someone – I know not who you are, but God knows your name and your number, and He’s got you safe in the palm of His Hands – I declare healing, complete healing for you and full recovery cause I know you still have lots more to do on this earth. God Bless you

  22. I’m 58 James and am praying you get to where I am and beyond in years Sir, I could roll on and on but I just wanted to tell you in addition to taking HIM as your savior, try to get closer to HIM in prayer and through the Holy Spirit. Wish I could be of more help Sir.


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