How To Defeat Passive Aggressive People

Passive aggressiveness is an excellent ***read***EXCELLENT offensive weapon. It also sucks to be on the receiving end of a passive aggressive maniac.

You’ll encounter passive aggressive types in both (1) the workplace, and (2) relationships.

I’m going to outline the common traits between passive aggressive warriors and then I’ll describe how to DEFEAT THEM (Using Aggressive Passiveness).

Passive aggressive types in both work and in relationships will:

  1. outwardly seem to cooperate with everyone,
  2. they will not be resistant to ideas, opinions, etc
  3. but will dominate the situation by making everyone view them as:
    1. helpless
    2. weak
    3. fragile
  4. While at the same time being inwardly hostile towards everyone.

To be clear, how can you win against a helpless person? Even if you do, it’s not really a true victory is it? After all, you’ve only defeated someone who is helpless.

Passive Aggressiveness is a super effective strategy because it confuses your mind by utilizing two (seemingly) contradictory methods: (1) passiveness, and (2) aggressiveness. How can something be both passive and aggressive? Obviously it’s possible, but it still plays tricks with people’s minds.

1. Passiveness, is exhibited by being outwardly nice, friendly, compliant, courteous, and loving; while

2. Aggressiveness, is exhibited by the person inwardly plotting to sabotage, hurt, destroy, ruin a person, idea, etc.


Step #1 – Be Actively Aware. You must first be acutely aware of the blame shifting and blaming tactics used by passive aggressive people;

Step #2 – Next you must crush all feelings of guilt. These passive aggressive types feed on this emotion.

Step #3 – Remember your insecurities often are the reason you’re targeted by passive aggressive folks.

Step #4 – Disengage. You must get the person out of your life, or at least keep the situation calm and under control. The passive aggressive type is waiting for the situation to get out of control and flare up. Do not play into their hands.

Step #5 – Stay Calm. (Relationship only). If you’re in a passive aggressive relationship where you cannot get away or disengage from your partner, you must make them comfortable in telling you all the negative feelings they have towards you. This will make it harder for them to subtly abuse you.

Step #6 – Counter-Attack (Workplace only). To be clear, the only way you can defeat a passive aggressive co-worker(s) is to give them a taste of their own medicine, preferably a worse taste!

  • Be insidious and underhanded right back at your passive aggressive co-workers. This will neutralize them.
  • Next, do not give them the ability/space to operate.
  • Keep your mind free from their negative and subtle influences.

Step #7 – Go on the offensive with Aggressive Passiveness. It’s the opposite of passive aggressiveness. Outwardly, you are aggressive and hostile, while inwardly you’re calm, cool, and collected.

Above all, keep your cool and your mind free from the distractions and you’ll be alright!

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